I'll make a man out of you!
by NekoChann
Summary: What happens when a new host isn't that good? Well, said host will need to be trained, right? Own nothing. T for cussing.


"You know, daddy never does like it when you try to act like a boy. It just throws off your charm!" Tamaki exclaimed, glancing thoughtfully at Arisha. The girl raised an eyebrow.

"I'm a host. I have to act like a guy."

"But you do it so horribly!

"…I just started yesterday." Tamaki sighed dramatically, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Yes, that may be true. But you also have to think about the future. We can't have a horrible host ruining out reputation, right Ai?" Kyoya spoke, glancing up at the girl. She rolled her eyes.

"I could just copy one of the guys here, jeeze. It's not like I'm going to make a couple of rich folks broke by not acting like a guy."

"Well, you could certainly do that…but that would be copyrighting."

"…the hell? It's just some afterschool activity!"

"Well, would you want to go to one movie, then another one that has the same plot?" Arisha scoffed, picking lint off of her blazer.

"Don't watch movies." She said smugly. Kyoya sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Must you be difficult?" She stuck her tongue out, turning around to face Haruhi and the twins. A snap of the fingers brought Arisha's attention back to Tamaki.

He was sitting down on his thrown, right leg over left. He held his chin in his left hand, placing the elbow on his right knee.

"I got the perfect solution." Everybody looked at their king, wondering what he was thinking of in that brain of his.

"_Let's get down to business. To defeat, the Huns."_ Haruhi's eyes widened, remembering the song from a movie she showed the host club last year.

"_Did they send me daughters, when I asked…for sons?"_ Arisha raised an eyebrow. Huns, what the heck is he talking about?

Tamaki stood up, strutting (yes, strutting XD) over to Arisha and cupping her chin in his hands. "_You're the saddest bunch I ever met."_ Her eyes widened, a glare settling on her face.

"_But you can bet!"_ she punched him in the stomach, smirking at his loss of breath. Tamaki sighed, grabbing both her hands and holding them above her head. "_Before we're through. Mister I'll." "_What the?" "_Make a man"_ "Are you for real?" "_Out of you._" "Oh, he's not bluffing." The twins piped in, identical smirks on their faces.

Haruhi groaned, smacking her face. What has she done?

--

"_Tranquil as the forest. But on fire, within."_ Arisha glanced nervously at Tamaki, wondering what the heck was going on in that mind. Seriously, making her do pull-ups over a blazing fire?!

"What the hell are you getting at Suoh?"

"_Once you find you're center, you are sure…to win!_" She glanced nervously at Haruhi, who just scratched the back of her head nervously.

"I think he means when you're a boy, you need to be tough and ready for the things thrown at you in life?" Tamaki nodded excitedly, grinning at Haruhi.

"My lovely daughter has gotten it!"

"Daughter?" Tamaki froze, forgetting that Arisha doesn't know Haruhi's "dirty-little-secret"

"Just do the pull-ups Ai."

"Yeah, we wanna pour lighter fluid into the fire!" Those shady twins come and save the day again…I think?

"Yippee, ass-burns." She jumped up, grabbing the pole while the twins started the fire.

"Ready!" they exclaimed, and she pulled-up.

…Or well, at least tried to.

Her face became pink, muscles straining to pull herself up at least one inch.

Nothing.

She sighed, letting go of the bar; landing on the fire and putting it out. The twins gaped. (Either about how she couldn't pull-up or how easily she put the fire out, this author will never know) Kyoya's eye twitched, Haruhi bit her lip in amusement and Tamaki…

Lordy, you don't **want** to know what he was going on in his mind.

"_You're a spineless, pale, pathetic lot. And you haven't got a clue."_ Arisha turned around and glared at Tamaki, crossing her arms.

"Hey! I tired okay! Sorry if I couldn't do a pull-up!"

"_Somehow I'll, make a man, out of you."_ Kyoya glanced at his "wife" in amusement, wondering how long Tamaki could keep this up.

--

"_I'm never gonna catch my breath._" Arisha exclaimed, wide-eyes at the obstacle course Tamaki had set up for her. "_Say goodbye to those who knew me…"_

"Ready to start, my beautiful daughter?" Tamaki's voice exclaimed through the microphone, echoing throughout the building.

"Not really!"

"Perfect!" a buzzer sounded, making flaming arrows shoot out from both sides. Arisha yelped before running through them, trying to dodge all of the arrows.

"When am I ever going to use this in life?!" she shouted, barley missing an arrow by an inch.

"You never know what life will throw at you." One twin spoke, though she wasn't sure which one.

"Whether it be flaming arrows or raging fangirls." The other finished. Arisha's eyebrow twitched in annoyance.

"So I'm dodging arrows to get used to dodging fangirls?"

"Raging fangirls." Both twins spoke. She growled in annoyance before yelping in pain. An arrow embedded itself in her arm, causing the whole thing to shut down.

"Tamaki, you said she wasn't going to get hit!"

"Well she wasn't supposed to just stand there!"

"_Boy was I a fool in school for cutting gym."_ Arisha muttered.

--

"It's fine now, Ai. You're just going to have a scar for awhile." Haruhi spoke with a smile, wrapping her friends arm in a bandage. Arisha glanced around worriedly.

"D-Do I have to do anything else?" Haruhi bit her lip before nodding her head sadly. Arisha studied her for a second before groaning.

'_This guy's got her scared to death'_ Haruhi thought before placing a hand on Arisha's shoulder.

"It's going to be okay Ai. I'm sure they're not all going to be like this one." Arisha tilted her head, pondering something.

"Ya know Haruhi, I just now noticed how much you resemble a girl…" Haruhi's eyes widened a bit before she forced a smile.

"But I'm sure it's nothing. I mean, a lot of guys look like girls!" Haruhi mentally sighed.

'_Hope she doesn't see right through me. Now I really wish that she knows how to swim'_

--

"Excuse me, you want me to do what?"

"Since you couldn't dodge flaming arrows, what about something easier. Dodge this giant boulder!" Tamaki exclaimed, thrusting his finger behind him. Arisha's eyes widened. A giant boulder, like the ones in the Indiana Jones movies.

She was supposed to outrun that?!

Arisha gulped, glaring at Tamaki. With a clap, the giant boulder dropped and started to roll forward. Tamaki gave you a thumbs up before jumping out of the way. With a scream, Arisha took off top speed away from the boulder.

"Senpai, what's this supposed to do?"

"Why, all men must be amazing runners!"

"But isn't a boulder, I dunno, a _little_ extreme?!"

"My dear Haruhi, Ai needs this. And besides, she should be able to outrun it."

Arisha-thinking she outsmarted Tamaki-turned a left. (Really, when a giant inanimate object is chasing you, why don't people turn a corner or something? I mean, come on. Common sense people.) She placed her hands on her knees, panting slightly.

With a giant roar of iron, the boulder turned to the left also. Arisha's eyes widened and she screamed again.

"TAMAKI! WHAT DID YOU DO?!"

"_Be a man, we must be swift as the coursing river. With all the force of a great typhoon. With all the strength of a raging fire, mysterious as the dark side of the moon!"_

"Senpai, what the hell is with that boulder?!" Tamaki turned towards Haruhi with a mischievous glint in his eyes. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and waved a hand at the boulder chasing Arisha.

"Kyoya had the thing filled with a tracking device so she couldn't outsmart it."

"But how is she supposed to outrun it??" Tamaki's hand dropped to his side, a worried look gracing his face.

"…HOLD ON MY PRECIOUS DAUGHTER! DADDY'S COMING!"

--

"_Time is racing towards us, till the Huns arrive. Heed my every order and you might, survive."_ Arisha gave Tamaki a confused look, still kind of scared at him.

"Okay, I'm confused. Who the eff is the Huns?" Hikaru wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

"Lobelia Academy I'm presuming."

"But what I'm wondering is how you are going to train for that." Kaoru questioned aloud, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. Haruhi nodded in agreement, glancing towards her senpai. Tamaki opened his mouth to speak, before closing it and looking towards Kyoya.

"Don't you go looking at me 'daddy'. I'm only here because you made me. I would say she deserves a break after all the hard work you're putting her through." Arisha gave a half-smile, silently thanking Kyoya.

Tamaki sighed and hung his head, muttering incoherent thoughts.

"All right, free day!" Both twins let go of Arisha, giving each other a high five.

Arisha collapsed onto the floor, passed out.

--

"You wanted to see me?" Arisha opened the door to the host club, wondering why the lights were turned out.

A single light turned on, showing the entire host club standing in the back. Tamaki had a solemn look on his face. Everybody else just looked at him confused.

"_You're unsuited for, the rage of war."_ Haruhi's eyes widened and she took a step back. Her hand flew to her mouth, knowing what was coming next. The twins glanced at her curiously.

Tamaki started to walk towards her, something in his arms. Arisha watched him with caution.

Stepping in front of her, he dropped something in her hands. She looked down, her eyes started to quiver.

"_So pack up, go home you're through. How could I"_ "So that's it?" "_make a man"_ "After all those months?" _"out of you?"_ He spared one look at Arisha before walking out of the club. The door slammed shut, echoing through the silent room.

"I can't believe it." The twins muttered, shocked.

_Drip, drip._ Arisha clutched the yellow dress tight in her hands, small tears falling onto the ground.

"Ai-"she dropped the dress and ran out the room.

--

_(Be a man) We must be swift as a coursing river._

She repeated his words in her head, pushing herself to go faster.

_(Be a man) With all the force of a great typhoon._

She grabbed the bar, determination in her eyes.

_(Be a man) With all the strength of a raging fire._

Another X on the calendar. Arisha smirked. She'd show him.

_Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!_

--

"Come on senpai, we need to show you something!" Tamaki gave everyone a confused look as they pushed him into the room where the obstacle course was.

"Wha-"

His eyes widened, seeing Arisha running past the flaming arrows like it was nothing. Glancing at her wrist, she grinned and clapped.

_BOOM!_ Tamaki jumped, seeing the boulder come rolling down after her.

"_We must be swift as the coursing river."_ She chanted, turning corners to get away from the boulder. Of course, it followed.

"_With all the force of a great typhoon."_ She clapped again, stopping the boulder. Looking up, she spotted a pull-up bar and smirked.

"_With all the strength of a raging fire."_ She grabbed it, pulling herself up easily. Tamaki smiled, leaning against the wall.

"_Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!_" he finished for her, causing the girl to drop the bar and fall ungracefully to the ground.

"Son of a…Tamaki?" Arisha jumped up, blushing slightly and scratching the back of her head.

"It looks like you've been using the summer break to your full advantage." She raised an eyebrow before grinning.

"You really thought I would give up without a fight?" he pushed off of the wall and walked closer to her. With a chuckle, he shook his head.

"Nah, I really didn't think my daughter would." Arisha's eyes widened. Tamaki nodded.

Her eyes quivered and before he knew it, she jumped forward and hugged him tightly. He blushed slightly before wrapping his arms around her waist, holding her close.

--

"What a beautiful sight!" Hikaru and Kaoru exclaimed, tears streaming down their faces. "Who knew tono had it in him?"

Haruhi sighed, muttering "No more Disney movies. Damn rich people."


End file.
